Life at half mast

A long time has passed since the surgery and the Fair Maiden can barely remember it. Just as the Ugly duckling needed to understand who he really was, the Fair Maiden  was searching to know who she was. At that point, she did not really know what she was looking for. But she would do... when she found it.

It was to be many years before she  found out.

The revelation did not come overnight. In fact, it was a journey that took many years. There is a part of the story that  for the moment, needs to be covered but  not omitted. It does not have to be spoken about; just yet. The brokenness which ensued only months after the surgery, tells of a Fair Maiden who thought she had the answer to her questions. Instead, the pain of  her decisions led to living a life at half mast. Not living her true and authentic self. Too scared to really be who she knew she could be. Too broke and too far away from where the all the trouble started, made it easier to hide what was really going on for her. Looking back on that time, the Fair Maiden can see it didn't really matter where she lived because the problem was her heart and she carried that with her; everywhere she went.

Brokeness does funny things to people.Some people can let it go and move on; they are a hardy lot that can cut their losses. Others can medicate their pain with short term fixes like chocolate.Some will bury their brokenness in  hard work and achievements. But at the end of the day, they know they want to do something about the brokeness. Others look for a Saviour. This Fair Maiden found the latter. In actual fact, He found me. In finding me, He has helped me understand who I am as His daughter.

To be continued....